It almost certainly doesn’t come as a Crying Game-worthy shocker that none of us here Creamers decided to don the cloak of Spin-i-tude and head down to Avenged Sevenfold’s quasi-heavy-metal-what-have-you at Bridgestone Arena Friday night. Positive, it would’ve been funny (maybe), but not nearly as funny as the video above capturing an unidentified metalcore (?) band covering A7x's fairly ditty “Unholy Confessions” ... and butchering it. Mercilessly.
Whilst Friday night’s show would’ve been funny for five minutes at best, this video is worth a lifetime of laughs. Actually. It isn’t only the hands-down funniest discovered footage of failed musicianship (to use a term loosely) I’ve seen since Complete (aka CMPT0, but maybe the funniest thing I’ve ever observed. Period. Just think Attack! Attack! meets The Shaggs meets a tank leading. By the way, hearing this is what it took to obtain Crash Test Dummies' “Mmm Mmm Mmm” out of my head.
Now, you might get, like, 30 or 40 seconds into the clip and say to your self, “Ha, I get it,” and then move on, don’t. The payoffs are worth enduring the trauma. But in case impatience gets the best of you, I’ve Cliffs-Noted the clip for you - time-stamping my favorite moments, with commentary, after the jump.
Thanks to The Clutters’ Doug Lehmann and Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg for bringing this into my life.
0:18: The most self-conscious, forced fist-pump because Vanilla Ice went on The Arsenio Hall Show.
